Hi Seedpod,
I agree with the others in thanking you for sharing your story. And, like PinkClouds, I'm still in a troubled marriage, so from this perspective, the distance and solidity you've established separate from your ex seems admirable.
A long time ago someone broke my heart. For way too long I obsessed about it, wondering if he ever really loved me, if I would ever love again, etc. etc.
One day I had a moment of clarity when I realized that all that mattered was that I could love that way. It didn't matter what he did or didn't do; it mattered that I was capable of feeling the way I felt and being the way I was with him.
I think I still agonized over him for another several years or so, but that idea--that all we really know is how we feel, and all we can control is how we behave--stayed with me.
I hope this is helpful.