Hello Sha...
The AA Big Book describes the feeling of 'Pitiful and Incomprehensible Demoralization' and I knew it well.
I am now a year and a half Sober ... Happy, Joyous, and FREE. Free from the behaviors I was driven to under the CONTROL that Alcohol & Drugs had over my Life. The MIRACLE happened thru WORKING the 12 Steps of AA.
Get an AA Big Book and read it. Do online Web Searches for help with the 12 Steps - there is a lot of great information and real encouragement from people that have had their lives literally renewed. Do a Web Search for Recovery Speaker Messages.
A good start - do an Internet Web Search for 'Joe & Charlie' and 'Melbourne AA Steps Weekend - Recordings'.
Sober Recovery Community is a great place to share - I want to hear more from you, and I am sure that is true for all of us.
RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous, and FREE ... and I KNOW U can B 2