I'm sorry about your Dad Tonks. Best wishes to you him and all your family
I'm sorry too for all you guys struggling with the permanency of recovery.
It is really easy to convince ourselves that abstinence is control and that seeing as we've proved ewe can stay sober maybe we can drink responsibly now.
I tried that for 20 years.
I can always tell I'm still an alcoholic when I get to urge to celebrate the fact my life is good by going back to the behaviour that made it bad.
Honestly I reckon the only sure sign that something changed is when you know you can drink anytime you like, but decide instead you prefer being sober.