I am glad that you like this forum, John. I like this forum because it gives me something to do during my downtime when I am not working out, studying, or spending time with my husband. I enjoy reading about other peoples' stories as well as giving updates on my own.
I like the suggestion of you maybe seeing a therapist. I see my therapist today at 5 pm pacific time, and I actually now look forward to seeing her. She gives me her full attention (which is what she is supposed to do and paid to do, LOL). But I like that full attention for the full hour. It gives me a chance to get out all of my thoughts and feelings, and to have another professional assess me and help me see what is going on. Sponsors in AA and other members in AA are great resources, but they are not professional counselors.