Originally Posted by blondeblonde80

I can totally relate. I just went through the most painful break up after being together for two years. My guy and best friend left me who claimed to love me more than anything. He made excuses and placed some blame but also did tell me I deserved to be happy and he could not keep hurting me. He has been in and out of recovery for years and always goes back to secretly using. The reality is though, that I would have stayed in it for a lot longer.... He ripped the bandaid off and it may be the best thing that could have happened.

The hard thing is that my heart just can't catch up with my head. This has hands down been the most painful thing I have ever gone through. Its been over a month but every day I still struggle. I know I am better off but I also miss him all of the time. We didn't fight, there was no abuse but our relationship became consumed with his lies and my worrying - thats no way to love.

Are you still in any contact with him..? I think it's best to to fully cut off. No looking on social media, no communication. It's hard but I think in the long run it helps. Also check out this report on grief... I refer to it often when I am having trouble (it won't let me post the link but google Psychology Today How to Mourn a Breakup to Move Past Grief and Withdrawal)

I'm sorry you are going through this but lets just put faith in this is what is best and in the long run we will be so much better off, as long as we learn and grow from it. xx A