Hi John
I hope you are feeling better today and that you are sober and got rid of your booze. Drinking made me feel suicidal too.
I like Biminiblue's suggestion to do volunteer work. There is actually a site which can help match your interests with local non profit needing volunteers
VolunteerMatch - Where Volunteering Begins
I have volunteered for years now at a local food bank and I firmly believe that it is one of the things which kept me from hitting a very hard bottom when it comes to my drinking.
Volunteering is a good way to make friends and also to be of service to the community. It also fosters an attitude of gratitude:
How can I feel sorry for not having much money after spending a morning bagging food for folks who not only cannot afford food but are also sick/old and home bound too.
Puts things right in perspective.
Anyway, I hope you ll decide to quit for good.