Last night, it was just me and the twins. We made a nice dinner and then company showed up. Kristin was putting highlights in a friends hair; the friends mom also showed up. We had such a fun visit. At one point, I realized I was laughing, really laughing. I felt such peace. It was a moment I wanted to hold onto so much.
Being sober is such a gift we give ourselves. At one point, my friend mentioned that others have spoken ill of me. The whispers of who I used to be. USED to be . . . not who I am now. Yes, at one point, I was in the bar all of the time. Yes, at one point, I was the one who never wanted the night to end. At one point, I was the one barely quitting shots before I had to sleep for two hours and get to work. Or leaving with the wrong person. Or saying something stupid. Or doing something stupid.
That's who I was . . . when drunk. That's not who I am now or ever again. It doesn't bother me as much now when people whisper. They are living in my past. I am not.
I'm sober. It's not the easiest thing I have ever done but it's also not the hardest, in theory. It's helped for me to take the advice given here and slow down. One day at a time. One moment. One thing. That applies to when I am doing an activity, sober. I need to stop and enjoy the moment. Enjoy the memories.
Life is going to be okay. Even if bad things happen, I'm sober. I can't ask for more.