[QUOTE=tomsteve;5419137]No, I am not on my own. THAT attitude is,what kept me drunk. Doing things my way under my conditions= drunken doom and gloom outlook.
Active addiction and alcoholism is lonely.
Recovery isn't. If I choose it not to be.[/QUO
Active addiction is lonely, but so is recovery. I have put myself out many times to connect with people, and it doesn't work. It's not as easy as it sounds. Keep trying, sure. But it's only human nature to go back to what works after constant failure. They say digging a hole with drinking will only lead to more problems. So is digging a hole trying to connect with people. Eventually you get tired of digging that hole. You know there are caring people down there, but you can't get to them.
Lets face it. Some people are really alone and others are not. Some people say they are alone, but talk about getting together with friends or family. That's not alone. Alone is only talking to people at grocery stores . Now that's alone. Trying to connect with people at AA meetings only to be turned away is lonely. Now that's being alone. I spend most of my day being by myself. I've tried very hard to make this different, but never worked out. If I die tomorrow, nobody would care, and that's a fact. This is not a poor me post. Many people have it worst than me. I am lucky to be in the situation I'm in. But dead is dead.