Originally Posted by
Dee74 
I don't think this is true John.
I think you're drinking , at least partly, because you've convinced yourself you need a specific set of circumstances to get sober.
There is no end of support here, and it's 24/7.
I know you crave real personal interaction and I get that - but drinking is not going to bring that possibility closer - it's actually going to push it farther away.
D
The pain of being alone is unreal. You can cut it with a knife. It just gets tiring reaching out and being turned away. I just don't get it and don't know why it ends up this way. All I want is to be accepted. I think I'm pretty nice guy. I'm always willing to help others, listen to others, etc., but that seems to be where it ends. Maybe my efforts helps others, and I feel good about that, but in the end, I'm alone. Nobody asked how I'm doing and if I need anything. I just don't get it. I'm not blaming others for my situation. Somehow, I ended up here. I'm drinking now because I have to take care of me and my feelings. All I have is me to take care of me. If I have cold, I take care of me. if I have the flu, I take care of me. If I have financial problems, I take care of me. If I am drunk, I take care of me. Don't like it and it hurts a lot, but see no way out but overdosing. John