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Old 06-12-2015, 12:10 PM
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AlcSis
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 141
Anonymity & Trust Issues

I was planning to attend a local f2f Alanon meeting.

Haven't been in a while due to health issues. There are only a couple of them around here. I feel the need to go, as my sponsor has passed away and I have lost the phone list.

I had lunch yesterday with a couple of lady friends. (Relatively new friends; I have lived here for about 4 years.)

Anyways, over lunch one of the ladies mentioned "__________", who is another mutual acquaintance/neighbor. She said "She is having big problems with her alcoholic husband." And added a few details.

I asked how did she know?

She said, "Oh ___________, (another mutual acquaintance) told her, and said she sees her at her Alanon meetings all of the time.

I kept quiet - VERY quiet. And then changed the subject.

Holy Cow!

First of all, I am glad I had/have not mentioned my sister's issues at lunch, or any other time, to these ladies.

Second, I am pissed that an "Alanon member" is spreading the word about another Alanon's problems.

Third, I am royally pissed because I had seen this woman (the gossiper) at a meeting quite a while ago. (I didn't talk specifics at the meeting.) Thank God.

Fourth, I am now reluctant to go to a f2f Alanon meeting. This woman is a regular at both meetings, according to my friend.

We all live in a small community.

What about anonymity??????

I feel like saying some of the very worst profanity I can think of.

I feel sad for the broken anonymity, really sad for the poor lady with the active alkie seeking help at the meeting.

And I don't feel like I can go to the local meeting, because I can't trust that what I say will be kept in confidence.

Oh #%(@ !!

I think my answer is to find an on-line meeting, (because I am unable to drive further than a few blocks, or get transportation to a meeting that is out of the area).

And to keep posting here and to read the Alanon books and literature I have.

I am letting go of my anger here, by writing this post.

Not sure what to do with my trust issues.

Thanks for listening.
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