I was planning to attend a local f2f Alanon meeting.
Haven't been in a while due to health issues. There are only a couple of them around here. I feel the need to go, as my sponsor has passed away and I have lost the phone list.
I had lunch yesterday with a couple of lady friends. (Relatively new friends; I have lived here for about 4 years.)
Anyways, over lunch one of the ladies mentioned "__________", who is another mutual acquaintance/neighbor. She said "She is having big problems with her alcoholic husband." And added a few details.
I asked how did she know?
She said, "Oh ___________, (another mutual acquaintance) told her, and said she sees her at her Alanon meetings all of the time.
I kept quiet - VERY quiet. And then changed the subject.
Holy Cow!
First of all, I am glad I had/have not mentioned my sister's issues at lunch, or any other time, to these ladies.
Second, I am pissed that an "Alanon member" is spreading the word about another Alanon's problems.
Third, I am royally pissed because I had seen this woman (the gossiper) at a meeting quite a while ago. (I didn't talk specifics at the meeting.) Thank God.
Fourth, I am now reluctant to go to a f2f Alanon meeting. This woman is a regular at both meetings, according to my friend.
We all live in a small community. What about anonymity??????
I feel like saying some of the very worst profanity I can think of.
I feel sad for the broken anonymity, really sad for the poor lady with the active alkie seeking help at the meeting.
And I don't feel like I can go to the local meeting, because I can't trust that what I say will be kept in confidence.
Oh #%(@ !!
I think my answer is to find an on-line meeting, (because I am unable to drive further than a few blocks, or get transportation to a meeting that is out of the area).
And to keep posting here and to read the Alanon books and literature I have.
I am letting go of my anger here, by writing this post.
Not sure what to do with my trust issues.
Thanks for listening.