Flavia....this is what I think: No good will come of continuing to flaggilate and torture yourself for something that you can't do anything about.
You can't change the kind of person that he is (no matter what you label it).
You will grow very old if you are waiting for history to change itself.
And, kicking yourself doesn't do one damn thing to help them.
I say....continue what you are already doing to help them. Put your energy into future actions and loving and living..... There is where any payoff will be...
Having one strong, healthy parent who cares seems to be the important factor....
Bishop Jaques (sp?) and Steve Harvey have some very good ideas about how to bring good male role modeling into their lives for children being raised by a single mother........
I think you have done a great job, so far.....look at the positive!!!!!!!
LOL! Be a model of the glass half-full attitude....
dandylion