Originally Posted by
haennie 
I was totally dumbstruck, which made it even worse as I usually am not unable to discuss matters about (his) death at all, we have been doing it for a couple years now. But how do you answer a question like that to your 84 yo father, on the spot??
As for practical arrangement, it's most likely that my dad will need to live in a home for the elderly or a hospice when he gets out of the hospital. He won't like that idea at all, that much I am certain about.
(((haennie))) I'm so sorry this is happening as it is for you and your dad. You know, I'm not sure there is any best answer to give to your dad, or even to yourself when a loved one makes such a heartbreaking request. I think just listening, without judgment, is enough to be a kind of answer. This assisted death issue your dad has brought into being is not surprising in itself. For me, I've already raised much the same with my wife Melissa. In fact, I'm beginning to research the current laws for Canada on such delicate matters of end of life responsibilities and respective rights. For me, Melissa just listening is a real support as she does not judge me, she simply shares the burden of the conversation so this of course lessens my angst.
I don't have a better answer for myself. And of course, sooner or later I too will face certain circumstances which will bring the quality of life issue front and center as to do I have the right to end my life? Do I not? As of today, I really don't know.
You're a wonderfully loving daughter to your dad. This alone is such an wonderful strength and offers real stability of which I'm sure he is very much aware and grateful for you being there for him. You know, sometimes just in the action taken in the asking of whatever has more value than does any actual answer...
