Originally Posted by AlcSis
Outside, I "look" okay.
Inside, psychologically and emotionally, I am a mess. But I am getting better.
{ACoA raising hand} Oh gosh, yes, I can totally relate. And not just in relation to my house/surroundings but some of my habits as well. Especially food - I have unbelievable control during the day/at work/in public but binge eat at home or when I'm alone. I live a healthy lifestyle for the most part & people are always shocked when they find this out about me... "Really??? You??" I can't tell you how many times others have complimented me on my willpower & self control. Ha!
I don't struggle with clutter so much, I'm the opposite (but it does creep up on me). I like everything in it's place & every closet & drawer organized so I can find things. I have no shelves in my house, no accent tables or empty surfaces because that would require more cleaning & dusting & STUFF. After years of household duties as the oldest child I will do
anything to avoid spending time cleaning or doing chores as an adult. It's not that I'm an OCD control freak, I just hate cleaning & de-cluttering. It's the biggest time-sucking waste, especially cleaning the same things/areas over & over & over again. Oh, that just makes me want to scream! I really love my family but I absolutely *hate* the dishes, clutter, dirty floors, laundry, etc. that living with other people brings.
(It is worth mentioning that it's different with DD. I have never had issues with the messes that come along with motherhood, but I won't lie..... I'm elated that she's gotten old enough to do a lot of helping out at home.)
I do have to reign in my hoarding habits a bit - I used to hold onto stuff until, well, forever. Then I realized that I was never enjoying anything in my RIGHT NOW.
Ironically, RAH was raised by a true-blue Hoarder & a lot of that spilled over onto him. He is unaffected by a mess, always scratching his head wondering what I'm talking about. He will hold onto every. little. thing. in which he finds the tiniest value...for years. It is no lie that we have a 3-bay, 2-story detached garage & it is FULL of his crap. I had to put a separate shed in the backyard for "my" stuff. (translation: holiday decorations, old photo albums & mementos, DD's memory trunk.....) The shed is about 10x10 & more than half empty, lol.
When I started de-cluttering my house during recovery I tackled one room at a time. I had heard a great tip that said to make piles/boxes right outside the room for everything that leaves the room so that YOU don't leave the room constantly, making the process longer. (Their categories were like, "Donations" "Belong in Another Room" "Garbage")
I'm also a fan of the 15-min cleanup. When Ie really don't want to get started I say, "I'll just clean for 15 mins, I can do
that!".... and almost always I end up going way past 15 mins. (For DD we do 10 mins) It showed me how much I can actually get done in a short time too so it helped me stop putting off small projects.... like cleaning the kitchen junk drawer.
