Cauliflower! How awful. There are no words. In the last two years I have lost 3 people very close to me. The last was 3 weeks ago when i was just a month sober. I felt like giving in and when the sherry came out (thankfully not my drink of choice) the only way I could avoid giving in was to think that I was doing it for him. That's how I kept it going. Dedicating the act to the one we'd lost.
I wish you well. Lean on us here these days.