Don't be "sorry," AF, and please keep posting about what you are going through, even if it is to say how you feel about it. As Ruby said above, it takes time to process these things. Don't mind the ones who try to tell you how to fix things or which actions to take. Sometimes it's all about saying how we feel. It's hard for some of us to even get to that point of identifying how we feel
It's a big step.