Some amazing posts. Wow!!!! Early recovery is hard. Transformation is difficult and uncomfortable. And I belueve without honesty and transformation with in and going within addiction will continue. It took me tears to realise that the inner transformation is much easier when I make outter changes ie - dropping using and drinking buddies. Going to pubs.
If the recovery was easy non of us would be here. Nodody has set up a forum to discuss getting out of bed. We just do it!!!! Unfortunately most of us addicts cant 'just do it'. Atleast I couldnt. I drank and used for 18 years. Atleast 10 of those years at some level trying to quit. And until I got honest, ruthless and went with in and got out of my own addict percepted mind I failed and thought I was doomed to never have anything and real happiness was an illusion. Im not by any shot 'recovered' but today I woke up at a reasonable hour, meditated and ate breakfast and thought what a bright beautiful day!! Thats progress for me. I used to wake up and see it was a bright day and re draw the curtains, do a line and ceack open a can and literally spit venom and rage at myself while I counted the remaining money I had left over and thought who I could cheat, lie to, steal from or what I coukd sell to get more.
Just for today im at peace (almost) and im heading to the gym and just see where the day takes me. Before that was scarey. Today its the start of a new adventure. Xx