Dear Haennie,
Your update is appreciated, even as it underscores the ambiguities permeating your world right now. As I read your posts, it struck me that you must be operating on very little sleep right now. Long flight, followed by the hospital. Situations like yours are exhausting; try to get as much rest as you can. Stay close, post when you're able.
I agree with EndGame's observation that anything you write here is in the "best of" league. By unhappy coincidence, I wrote a week ago today about burying my father's ashes. Yours was a caring, supportive response about the difficulties involved when we confront our fathers' mortality. I continue to appreciate it so much. Thank you, Haennie.
My hope for you is that whatever the coming days bring, you can find comfort in knowing how deeply loved you are by your dad. He summoned something very touching -- "beautiful hair."
Beautiful words, beautiful daughter.
Peace be with you, friend.