Repressed emotions - when will I cry?
Greetings all. It took me a long time to finally realize my depression & anxiety was caused due to repressed emotions that I've been avoiding for years (why do such articles never mention this as a cause?), and I've been masking the pain and emptiness through several addictions.
After multiple relapses (if this isn't the hardest thing in the world...) I've finally managed to set myself on the right path, and I'm nearing 60 days, which is a huge milestone compared to all my other attempts (just under a month before a relapsed). Essentially, I've replaced many of my unhealthy habits with healthy ones, focused on my goals, have managed to overcome the urges, and am ready face all the trauma that I've been running away from all these years, welcoming my negative emotions with open arms.
My concern is that they haven't come yet, and I'm nearing 60 days. I remember in the first few weeks, I felt multiple surges of anger, which I acknowledged and felt, and they eventually went away. Ever since then, I haven't felt much. I do believe that recently, I feel a bit of sadness underneath, like I want to cry, but it just won't come out.
So I ask: Is this just a matter of waiting it out, for the emotions to come out 'naturally?' Because mind you, I've tried journaling, counselling, listening to sad music, watching sad movies, and I can't seem to 'force' myself to cry.
I am very sure that I just need to have one very good cathartic cry, to release all the pain that I've repressed, and then I will feel much better, and will be able to begin healing and so forth, and I'm so eager for it to happen, as I'm resolute on living a 'normal' life again, but I'm just worried that maybe I'm missing something.
I appreciate all the help I can get. Any reassurance would mean so much to me. I want nothing more than to face my problems, and move on.