Your story is touching, and I can sense your desire to be "normal" in terms of drinking. From what you've shared, I don't believe that's going to happen for you. The behaviours from our past are generally good indicators of the natural course of our future. Drugs, alcohol and mood issues are a vicious self-reinforcing cycle. They offer short-term relief while actually increasing anxiety and depression over the long-term. Now is a great time in your life to settle on a new path to avoid years of worsening anxiety, depression and substance use problems.
Tending to think you don't have a problem in the face of evidence that fairly clearly shows otherwise is all part of having a drinking problem. I'm glad that you are here posting on SR. I wish you could also have face to face support with people your age who are successfully dealing with their own substance use problems. This idea you have around drinking as being part of enjoying youth is simply not true. The reason I say that is that I'm often inspired by the number of younger guys I see in AA meetings who are leading these courageous lives of sobriety, and when they talk and I see how they are directing their youthful energy into leading a more noble life it is really inspiring. I'm not saying to run out and join AA, but this kind of influence and support would be valuable for you.