Hi there!! Oh boy! I can COMPLETELY relate to your post!! Seriously! It sounds JUST like my own situation!! Same thing! Yup! We would get up on the weekends, lay around for a bit and wake up, which were probably the best moments in our relationship! We would laugh, be silly, cuddle, etc... but then the day would start and one of our first trips would be to the package store! It was all over from there!! Things would be great and then the inevitable would happen! The DRUNKEN FIGHT!! Ugh! Our fights were so stupid that I once said that we should be laughing at the fact we're both acting like a couple of tools!! This was repetitive behavior! We drank pretty much every single day! We didn't always fight, but more than none we did fight. Stupid, stupid, STUPID nonsense fights that if I told anyone what we fought about, they would probably think we were both just crazy!!
I can tell you that you're going to be fine! I don't know how much or how often you drank, but 4 days is something to be proud of!! If you're anything like me, I LOVE myself so much more sober! I don't understand why I drank so much in the first place? I am way more, if not completely more fun and have a better personality when I'm sober. For me, I didn't drink to enjoy it, enjoy the company around me... I drank to immediately get that drunk on!! I would drink about 5 vodka nip bottles in about 10min. so I can get buzzed! After that is when I would slow it down, but by that time, I was already acting a fool!!
You DO need to love yourself above anyone else! How long have you been with him for? You should maybe stay away while you work on yourself, it is probably for the best. I was with my ex for almost 4 years and I just had to walk away. The last fight we got into, I made my mind up then and there that I can't allow alcohol to destroy me anymore. I need to better myself and it's the most liberating feeling I've ever felt! "I" am in control and no one or nothing will control me ever again!!
I'm so sorry you're going through this! Reading your post totally sounded just like me and my ex!!
Keep your head up girly and be proud of yourself you're on day 4! That is awesome!!
I hope you're doing ok! You'll have your ups and downs for sure, that's just part of that wonderful thing we call life, but KNOW and TRUST that you will be fine!! There's no other option but fine!! <3