Thank you all!
A big big thank you for your support and cheering, welcoming words.
I just read through my old threads. I had no clue that I was so aware of my alcoholism already in January 2012 and August 2013... Obviously I logged on to SR and tried to sober up back then.. I can hardly remember it. It is scary how much alcohol has ruined for me, how many memories that are lost... I am not talking about a few nights with black outs, I am talking about long periods (months) where everything is a big blur.
I think the reason to why it took me so long to sober up was because I didnt get any real life consequences from my drinking... I actually took a Masters degree in Economics while being an alcoholic (with top grades)! After that I started my career within finance (which has been absolutely fenomenal). No wonder I didnt find any reason to quit!! I had it all at the same time as I was being a drunk!
However.. During 2014 I started to see the damage alcohol did to my body. I had constant pain in my stomach, I was throwing up in the mornings, I didnt function until I had a few "recovery drinks", I looked 10 years older all the sudden, I was slow and felt dumb.. Couldnt focus and had no energy nor inspiration to do anything.
I remember how I woke up in the morning and my first thought was "did I finish all drinks last nights or do I have enough to recover myself before work?".. Second thought was "TOILET!" because I had to run to the bathroom and throw up.. Of course I always threw up alcohol from the night before - and how did I fix feeling sick? By having a recovery drink (read: 3-4 drinks).
I started to call in sick to work, staying at home binging on the couch and passing out in my living room with A & E Intervention-episodes on the TV in the background.. I remember once when I went to work and threw up on my way to the office in front of alot of people.. I thought I was throwing up blood so I got terrified and ran home and called in Sick.. After a few minutes I realized that I had red wine the night before so it wasnt blood I saw on the side walk, just wine. That made me happy so I decided to celebrate with a glass of wine and "relax and enjoy my day off work".
Of course that day ended up with me being wasted and passing out on the couch, and the day after I naturally stayed at home "recovering" (drinking)/being hungover again, and so on and so on.
Another time (when my man was out of town) I decided to celebrate the weekend with a one person-party! I stayed in our apartment and just drank the entire weekend. I wanted to have an artistic weekend filled with drawing, painting and creating (I am a bit artistic by nature) and as everyone knows - great minds and artists are drunks! I was so drunk that weekend and when Sunday evening came I counted how much I had consumed that weekend - 5 bottles of red wine, 0,7 litres of Vodka and 24 0,5 litres of beer... I should have been dead.
