Hi everyone,
I haven't logged on to this page since August 2013. Not until today.
I actually forgot about this amazing webpage.. But that is simply because I forgot myself for almost 2 years.
So what has happened since August 2013?
Well, I became a full-blown alcoholic! I almost drank myself to death.. I can't remember how many nights I have ended up in hospital from intoxication or how many nights I have blacked out and ended up in weird places, cities and even other countries!
For some weird reason I never lost my job, nor my apartment or husband... But I lost dignity, self-respect and I almost lost my life.
At the very end I drank vodka in my coffee for breakfast. I had to drink at the office 4-5 times per day, otherwise I would get the shakes.
I started to forget things (couldn't tell whether what was happenings was a dream, hallucination or if it was all imagination or maybe some story someone told me once.. or was it all real life?!), I was tired, ugly, cranky, sad, depressed, dumb, irritable and so on and so on...
I hit rock bottom around Christmas and New years 2014.. I drank 24/7 and I just passed out, woke up and started drinking again, passed out and woke up just to start "the party" again.. I kept going for 9 days without a break.. On the 9th day my sister came to me (we don't live in the same countries so it was a long flight for her to come see me) and she said one sentence and that sentence saved my life.
She said "I am not leaving until you've called AA".
She put the phone in my hand, dialled the number (I can't remember this) to AA's emergency phone and forced me to talk to an AA member who came and met me and took me to the nearest meeting.
I can't remember more than 5 minutes at the most from the meeting.. I only remember getting my 24hour medal and feeling scared, confused but also relieved.
After that I didn't leave bed for 3 days.. Delirium Tremens and being sick. I had the shakes, fever and I was sick over and over again.. I couldn't eat, talk.. I just didn't function. 3 days later I went back to AA.
This was 5 months and 1 day ago.
My sister and AA saved my life!
I am never going back to that hell! NEVER AGAIN!
In 2014 I was sober for 3 days (!3 DAYS OUT OF 365!), this year I have been sober for 152 days
