Originally Posted by
live4luv 
Not spending time with my father is not an option.
I would suggest that, yes, it is an option. My mother was a trigger for me, and I very rarely spent time with her when I began recovery.
As for the AV, I had a similar experience. I went to a neighborhood party early on in recovery and it wasn't bad. I was uncomfortable at times, but I managed to chat with people and mingle. Obviously it stressed me more than I realized, because the next morning I woke up and the first thing I did was go to the wine store. The AV is tricky.