In early recovery I had my one sponsor
and went to my meetings, took care of
my little family, worked my recovery
program all to the best of my ability.
However, I began to wonder if I was
missing something. For awhile I would
sit in meetings and admired one particular
lady who was a sponsor to many of the
women there. It seemed to me that they
all were speaking the same language because
they all spoke using the same AA information
taught to them.
They had this connection that I wanted
maybe like a mom with her little ones.
And since I didn't have that mother daughter
connection of my own, I pondered about
asking her to me my sponsor too.
Someone that would be tough on me,
stern on me to work harder on my own
recovery. Which meant I would have
to do what she tells me what to do.
Then a little time passed and I began
to think, why would I want to change
what has been working for me from the
start. Here I had a wonderful sponsor
gently, caringly guiding me along in my
own recovery and it was working.
Why fix what has been working all along.
Then, I realized, that as much as I admired
this other women in recovery, a mother
type figure to all the women, I didn't need
to have someone else tell me what to do
because I had already formed a resentment
towards my own sick mom and had to work
thru that.
Today, I still admire this wonderful woman
who spoke a good program and led a many
women in recovery learning a stern way
to remain sober. Maybe these women needed
a stern hand or voice to help them remain
sober where all I needed was a kind, caring,
gentler way of guidance to remain sober.
So I didn't need to fix what wasn't broken
in the first place.
Some 24 yrs sober and I am soooo grateful
for all the lessons ive learned over the yrs.
to mold me into the person I am today.
A happier, healthier, honest person I can
possibly be to the best of my ability.