Good evening and day Stratman.
Where were we?
Here is one reason I enjoy therapy: people and behaviors can be quite challenging for me. I cannot tell you how many times I have vacated the premises, shot myself in the foot, gone to great lengths to get away from emotionally challenging people, situations or perplexing environments.
As it happens, I feel exquisitely sensitive to my environment and the people in it. I actually used to drink at night to be clouded in the morning so I could work with a sort of filter. A hangover would help me focus only on the task at hand and not notice everything that is going on. So I told myself. Fairly ridiculous.
For example, this past year I worked closely with someone who has a reputation for being a tyrant and often his spoken word did not match his body language or non-verbal expression. The spoken/non-verbal mismatch drives me insane in general. When I meet with my therapist we talk about many things, a few themes but most important for me, I learn new skills to deal with life instead of drinking or freaking out and running from the building.
New skills. I want to live well - a definition that is unique to me and my collective experience. When I walk into a session, I am picking up where I left off and providing a narrative of what most people would consider mundane - but it means the world to me. No one else in my life could possibly listen as much as I need to be heard.
Stratman, what does "living well" mean to you?
Just an observation. Tell me if I am wrong. You appear to be Velcroed to the family that not only does not support you but seems to make sport out of keeping you around and tearing you and the world around them down. How will you break free?