Addicted to the Party
Hello,
I'm new here... Here's my story
Well, I've never been the type of drinker that needs to drink every day, or even every week. I am a binge drinker... depending on the envoronment. When I'm at home with my fiance, and we open a bottle of wine, I will maybe have one glass, but then stop. However if I'm out with friends at a party or at the bar, I drink to access, and do stupid, reckless things. I'm not sure what kind of alcoholic you call that? I can go weeks without a drink, but then one night it all comes undone.
Anyway, let's start with the reckless things I've done while intoxicated... The worst, is cheating on my fiance (getting married this fall). I cheated on him last summer (told him), and we decided we were both going to quit drinking. Time passed and, we started drinking casually again. About a month ago, I got really drunk (bought some coke... this isn't a common occurrence in daily life, but when I get really drunk I tend to look for it) and cheated on him once again.
I told him the next morning. He was gutted. Devastated. Said he was leaving me, which I didn't blame him for. I begged him to stay, that I would change. Anyway, he's still here. Thank god. If anything like this happens again, he will leave. He loves me so much, and I him. I can't lose him..... I obviously need to stop drinking. I'm a very social person, and it's hard to stay away from the partying. Many of my friends don't understand the damage I do when wasted, and most of them enjoy my stupid drunken antics, and encourage it. I do have some good friends who understand it and look out for me, thankfully. I often feel I have to live up to peoples expectations.
Ok I'm rambling. Thanks for this guys, feels good to get it off my chest. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
-AppleJacks