Originally Posted by
Scram 
for whatever reason - scared to death of being defined by what I cannot do.
So you rebel. By drinking. Your addiction has you acting like a 12-year-old, being defiant against authority, or in this case, sobriety.
You have to recognize that the decision to get sober is your decision. No authority is depriving you of alcohol. You are making a rational decision based on the impact alcohol in having on your life. You aren't depriving yourself of squat. Rather, you are opening the door to the many gifts of sobriety. But you can't let your addiction twist that around to "losing" something, because you aren't.
You won't see the gains of sobriety as quickly as your addiction will notice the losses. Don't let it get the upper hand. This decision is your to make and keep. It takes a lot of integrity, it takes being the adult over your rebellious addiction.