Hi daz - it's so good to have you here.
I drank almost 30 yrs. I guess I always knew I didn't drink like others, but I refused to admit I had no control. I continued trying to moderate until my life was in shambles. As you said, it takes more & more to achieve the feeling of numbness. (We can't really say we're 'high' or having fun when we reach this stage.) Bad things had to happen for me to wake up. It's a wonderful feeling to get free. You can do it daz.