lizatola

So true! Honestly, I think I sometimes create drama in my own head more than anything. I haven't actually spoken to him since Wednesday AM mainly because of this camping trip with his girls. His kids are a priority for him and they drain him energy wise at times. He also has an autoimmune disease that saps his energy periodically, too. Anyway, I was taking it personal that he didn't pick up the phone and call me even though he had initiated text messaging me daily, even while up in the mountains (he would text when he was in town getting camping supplies or groceries) and here I was taking it personal that he didn't phone call me. UGH.

I had to call a program friend and just rehash what was reality and what was in my mind. My stupid mind has me in his life, after 8 weeks mind you, as a priority before his kids or his own hobbies and interests. 8 weeks! Talk about my own insanity. So, I look at reality: the reality is: he took a 7 and 9 year old girl camping by himself. He had to unpack the car yesterday, go drop off camping supplies at his brother's house, pick up his dog at his other brother's house, get the girls settled down, clean out the cooler, feed the girls dinner, and then put them to bed, all after packing up the campsite and the car and then driving 3 hours back to the valley. And, even though we texted a few times yesterday evening, I was taking it personal that he didn't call me even though I didn't even ask him to do so!!! Hello??? I'm the crazy one here....but the best part about all of this is: that I recognize it and that I can regroup and look at reality and then I go read a book, watch a movie with my kid, and go to bed happy. And, that is why I love my program.

I can get all crazy and obsessive in my head, but I now know how to talk myself off the ledge. The people in the rooms of Al Anon have taught me lessons that I am now learning how to apply. Our meeting on Friday night was on the traditions and I remember a few people talking about minding their own business and what that really meant when it came to dealing with not just the alcoholic, but with everybody. We allow others to live their lives as they see fit and if they don't fit in our lives anymore or our needs aren't getting met or we just can't go through life with that person anymore, then we have choices we can make to take personal responsibility to either allow that person to be in our lives or not in the future. Anyway, I love it when our meetings talk about personal responsibility because for so long I lived in my XAH's emotional vacuum. I was a slave to his emotions and his ups and downs and that was what drove me. A healthy emotional life is key to my happiness today and that is where Al Anon has saved me!