Welcome back Sansa. It takes time to learn how to live sober, and the first day is many times the hardest I one. Reading here on SR with those who understand was how I got started. The Jason Vale book is a good one as well , and don't forget about the Big Book. Even if you aren't in AA I'd has lot of good information into alcoholism and it is free to boot. Make sure you are drinking water and getting food and rest as well these early days...it can really help.