Day 10. Feeling much better. Still tired, thoughts scattered. I'm not letting myself sleep in. I know I need to rest but I really want to get back into the habit of sleeping and waking around the same time every day.
Confidence is low. It's amazing what a difference from 2 weeks ago, before I decided to drink again. I was showing up in any situation ready to face it. Now I feel like I want to avoid ANY situation.
I've had commitments every day since I stopped drinking on May 21, and that has been helpful in getting back into the swing of things, keeping me occupied, and getting some initial sober time squared away. I have the next 4 days off (except band practice monday night) and am really looking forward to doing not much of anything. Feel like I need a couple days of relaxing, regrouping, and reflecting. That will be nice.
This thread seems to have run its course. I've come clean, tightened up my plan, dealt with the detox and subsequent sleep issues. I may start a new thread tomorrow or early in the week to journal my thoughts, questions, and issues moving forward. One of my regrets from my previous stint of sobriety was not keeping some sort of record of what was going on with me during different stages. Looking back it seems like I could almost divide those 4 months into distinctly different sections. I vaguely remember feeling great for the first month or so, then really really lonely for the second month. In the third month I started thinking more about life, where I would like to be and how I could get there. And also, in the third month thoughts of drinking again began to surface. In the fourth month I started to act on my ideas of how to achieve a better life, and sadly, acted on those thoughts of drinking.
Thanks to all who have read/contributed to this thread. Your support means a lot to me.
SDH