Interesting post from 2 days after her death. Looks like I was right
My worst day sober
The last couple of weeks have definitely been my worst days sober. To see your child suffer and die is horrible beyond description.
What I have been thinking about is I made the statement. "My worst day sober is better than my best day drunk." I have been thinking is this really true or am I blindly reciting slogans I have heard a hundred times.
How could the loss of your child be better than drinking?
After some real thought here is my answer. Yes it is better. It is better because it has an end. Will life be very hard for a very long time? The answer is yes. The important thing I have come to realize is a very long time is not forever. Each day will get a little bit better. Will the whole in my heart ever totally heal? No it will not but it will become something I can deal with because of the other blessings in my life.
Alcoholism has only one end and that is death either directly or indirectly. There is no good outcome. Each day gets worse. Each day you give more things away. Your loved ones, your health, your self esteem, your freedom, your independence, and a million others things you love and cherish.
So the answer is. MY WORST DAY SOBER IS MUCH BETTER THAN MY BEST DAY AS AN ACTIVE ALCOHOLIC