Why do you need to minimise your legal melds?
I don't understand?
Surely you need your legal pain meds reviewed to stop you using street drugs?
Many pain management patients self medicate with drugs and drink.
If you can be honest with a specialist chronic pain consultant they could try to help.
Pain drugs can wear off in the relief they give over time.
We build a tolerance to them and they need changing, or other drugs adding in.
Also, some of these drugs are addictive.
That is no slight against you.
It's just basic physiology and biology and pharmacokinetics.
It would happen if you are a 34 year old man or an 88 year old woman with a cat.
In the UK we have very few step 2 analgesia options for pain control.
There is the simple stuff (paracetamol etc) and the then the strong stuff like morphine.
There is not a huge amount of choice to prescribe in the middle.
However pain clinics are doing more and more therapies to help - both drug and no drug therapy.
There are new drugs coming out Too, but it takes time.
There is a very strong correlation between mood and coping with pain. I'm sure you know that.
Thinks like Lyrica can have an impact on mood too remember. It's not just the illicit drugs that cause mood d swings.
Prescription drugs can do too.
That's why a lot of anti-depressents are prescribed to chronic pain patients.
Better mood helps us to cope with pain.
Low mood can make pain insufferable.
You deserve a better quality of life than this, you really do.
You should not have to resort to using illegal drugs, especially if using them further conflicts you or makes you unhappy.
If you need someone to talk to we are here 24/7.
There is nothing we have not heard before.
It sounds like you have a lot going on, pain, young kids, financial commitment etc.
It also sounds like you are adding a heap of guilt onto this from the illicit drugs and I think you need to stop that and give yourself a break.
That's not condoning the drug use, but it's saying, mate you are having a hard time and you sound like you need support, not been made to feel bad. That includes making yourself feel bad or you punishing yourself.
You have got a lot going on.
2 kids and a big mortgage is enough without debilitating pain.
If you need to vent, vent away, we are all ears!
Have you searched the Internet for patient support groups for chronic pain patients too?
Are there any Internet forums for chronic pain of your type?
Could you ask for a referral to a different specialist?
Maybe a fresh pair of eyes might help?
Keep coming here.
Keep posting.
There will be a way through it.
It might not be a totally pain free life,but it could be a big improvement.
I wish you the best xx