Good luck Aeryn!!! I broke up with my last AXBF four years ago and haven't had anyone (aside from one brief fling) in my life since. I've always seen myself having kids, but had a string of relationships with addicts who I knew weren't right. Getting real with myself in the past few years about addiction and trying to find a better path has also helped me to finally decide to try with a donor. I've been trying for a little over a year, had a miscarriage last summer but still hoping it might happen for me, though at 41 I'm not sure. I worry sometimmes that I will regret not getting my sh*t together earlier, but then again, I have a career I love and being single/childless has allowed me to make the most of that, so I guess I'll be OK either way. BTW, I don't mean to make assumptions, don't know if you have a partner involved, but there is a great group called Single Mothers by Choice that has an online support group and opportunities to meet other women in your area. Sending you sticky thoughts!