Maybe we stick around here...I'd willingly share my email or facebook. Whatevs - just let me know what you all are comfortable with and that will work for me too.
Dating. Sigh. So AA Guy is still around. He is a really good guy. Like polar opposite of my exhubs (who is still being douchey by the way). He checks all the boxes on my "Ideal Guy"list but I am just not ready for the serious relationship. I want to date around and meet new people. There is an APP for that! I talk to different guys all the time and some have asked me to meet up for coffee or dinner and I want to go...but don't. I wish you could put a person on HOLD or layaway. LOL . Anyway, so instead of being open and honest I pull away and whittle down the time we spend together and of course AA Guy can feel the change. A couple of weeks ago I did tell him I needed some time and space. The next day we were back to texting again. I do like him. Lots. I just want to go be my own person for awhile. I don't expect him to wait and I do care about his feelings so I am trying to be mindful of my actions and how they affect him.
I've been running with this other dude (training for a half in August). I like him too. We kiss sometimes after our runs. Feels harmless. Like blowing off steam - run and a make out session. They both go to my home AA group so maybe it's not the best idea. And I know Running Dude likes me more than I like him. Gah!
I am not looking for meaningless anything. I just dig the attention. I was never the pretty girl in high school. I always felt like the boys I dated liked me because I was "fun" and partied, not because they were attracted to me physically. I'm not going to lie, it feels good to hear these grown men tell me I'm sexy and beautiful and fun to be around (without booze). Read: Daddy Issues. I know it and yet that doesn't change anything.
So needless to say, I have some work to do in this area. Having had a child at 18 and locked into a serious relationship since has me feeling like I need to explore this dating thing more. BUT do I give up the great guy in the process?
WD - I appreciate any advice, even from a 55 year old married dude. LOL
DD - I am so glad you shared that revelation about losing the choice to make a choice. Drunk Cindy is one person I do not ever want to see again. You are right in that good or bad, my behavior and decisions when I am sober are MINE. There is a difference from those made after drinking and I like the ownership.
XOXO