Day 7. Still feeling lousy but I think the erratic sleep has a lot to do with that. Slept about 10 hours last night. Felt good to really sleep, but now I've got that "slept too long" grogginess thing going. Something that occurred to me today is that in the old days I'd be at the tail end of another binge by now, since it was a weekly cycle. That's crazy! That means that how I feel today, and the way I've felt the last couple of days, that's as good as I EVER felt for an entire decade. This is what passed for "feeling great!" No wonder I was miserable and hopeless.
The difference between how I felt pre-binge and how I feel now, almost a full week post-binge is night and day (or day and night, respectively).
I've read that each detox or "quit" gets more difficult. Kindling, I think it's called? Well, can't empirically say if that's true, but I can say that it FEELS more difficult. Maybe because I still remember what it's like to feel "normal" and this isn't it. I know it's early yet. Just writing this out for my own purposes.
Anxiety and faceless fears today. Trying to detach and take a look at why I'm anxious and afraid and there's no good reason. Just am.
Anyway, at least I've slept. I look forward to that leveling out some. Hopefully over the next week.
Happy day to all.