Sorry you drank AF, and I"m glad that you are safe and sound from the flooding.
I understand you are a very sensitive person, but at some point you are going to need to stop using that as an excuse to keep drinking. The recurring theme the last few times that you have drank seems to be lonliness. Perhaps you need to start seeking out local support so you can meet people and have local voices/faces to call on for help when you need it? Or perhaps you could try volunteering in some way in your community? Sometimes the key to helping ourselves starts by helping others.