Day 2
Fell off again, I'm such a failure. It's affecting health big time, spent the last 24 hours being sick, bf and family think it's a bug. He's away next week and it terrifies me to be alone. I don't live with him and have pushed most family and friends away.
My chest feels so tight with anxiety, started taking the antidepressants again, they didn't help before so sort of think why should they now.
I just need help. My job as a teacher is at risk if I carry on but afraid to get help for the real reason as I'm afraid the school will find out and get rid of me anyway.
I know if I get sober it would be better. It's the loneliness in an evening that gets to me, my friend in disguise alcohol is in fact the devil. When I am sober I know I feel better but how do I do it alone?