Hello,
Thank you so much for being brave enough to share your story. I have been in a similar place to you, and I know how hard it is to feel you are worth anything at all when you grow up with a parent who cares more about their next drink than their family. A book that really helped me start feeling a little better, that I wasn't alone if nothing else, was 'Adult Children of Alcoholics' by Janet G. Woititz. Hugs x