Hey Liam ,
have a read through the forums sometime when you get the chance , read some of the stories of other people who got sober .. Have a read of the AA book and see the examples in there maybe ? (even if the language can seem a bit old fashioned, quite often you can find examples very similar to ourselves in it )
Know that you are not alone and that it is possible for us to get sober and live a glorious sober life .
It's sometimes painful and really hard…. but it is possible, it is worthwhile and it can be really, really great .
Keep an open mind and believe that change is possible , even if it seems impossible tonight .
Maybe you didn't get it right this time but there is tomorrow and a lot of other days to get it right .
I didn't learn to ride a bike overnight or perfectly first time , but it was possible . In the same way sobriety is possible too , keep working at it , keep learning .
Maybe detox and inpatient treatment might help ?… you need to chat to your Dr to detox safely and maybe get some extra support ,
Take care , m