Good evening all,
I have reached the end of day forty eight. It wasn't as bad as it might have been. Business first.
Physically I am great. My muscles are a little sore. Not used to hard menial labour. I have got soft in my old age.
I am a little tired. There is no sign of fatigue. Mind you, that is only a problem when I am at work. I really wonder if the building I work in has something to do with it. My headache did fade during the day. It didn't go completely, but rather was just there to keep me aware of it. I didn't smoke too much today, just over a pack. I have been drinking a new NA beer. Not bad. I have also been drinking copious amounts of milo and Horlicks. Oh, and ice cream and chocolate. My day off I suppose.
Mentally I am fine. I did not get to do any work work. We had load shedding this side. So when my power was off - work was on and when work was on, my power was off. Our power utility is under huge strain this side. I did get to thinking a lot, so that was great. It is always great when you can reason with yourself.
Emotionally I am good. I only had a low point this afternoon. L is a female dog. I was lucky enough to keep myself busy, it was only during the breaks that L kicked in.
Well the builders did not pitch. So I started the tiling myself. I am about halfway. Not a train smash at all. I work a lot slower than them, but I work a helluva lot neater than them. So I think it is really going to turn out great. I am tiling the patio the same colour and tile type that I used inside. I am considering using a different colour to do the border tiles. I think that would be great. I will post a pic when I get to that stage. Then you can all give your input.
Tonight's movie seems to be ok. I am watching while I type this. The movie is "Divergent". Seems alright. Last night I watched "The Expendables 2". My type of mindless movie. It put me right in the mood for sleep.
Tomorrow is the start of another harrowing week. There is a cloud of despair about at work. With all the strike action and power woes etc. going on at the moment, a lot of projects are being shelved. Companies are just not building anything with all the uncertainty at the moment. I have spoken with friends who are in the same game but at different companies, and their outlook is just as grim as mine. They have already been through huge job cuts. It is only a matter of time before my company has to do the same. It is a bit depressing being in that environment, but there is not much I can do about it. The work outlook here in SA is just not good, and will not get better for at least the next five years.
I have given this a lot of thought, especially with the predicament I find myself in with my wife. It is not easy to make any decision regarding my future at the moment as I don't have a clue whether it is just me or us I am making a decision for. Hence the importance of the timeline I have spoken about.
One thing I can tell you though, this is the first time I am going through something like this sober. It is like seeing things from a totally different perspective. Am I worried about losing my job? Yes, but it would not be the end of the world. There is a lot of work out there. Not here in SA, but Africa is taking off. Am I worried about losing my wife? Yes, but there is nothing I can do to influence her at this point in time.
There is only one thing I can do, and that is to keep on at me. Day by day I learn more about myself. I gain more control over myself as well as more confidence. I am not so afraid of the future. All is not doom and gloom.
Well, the cats have climbed on the bed. They are in their spots. I am not sure if they know that they are cats. Or maybe they know that they're cats when it suits them. They follow me around like dogs. They even sat and kept me company today while I was tiling. It is a different form of company I suppose. I wonder where I can go to learn cat?
Well time for me to browse through the posts one last time and then to give my undivided attention to the TV.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers,
ZAB