I never saw myself as an enabler, as I would hide alcohol from him or throw it out, I would insist he not drink, blame those who allowed him to and wish all my problems would disappear. But, I guess I suffer all three mentioned. I always remember my sister saying, " why do you get upset, he doesn't, you are the only one that it effects emotionally" It was and is true, why I ever tried to rationalize with him intoxicated, I don't know, maybe I just hoped something would get through, but it never did. He had to make the connection himself and thankfully he has for today and I pray for all other tomorrows. I do not want to be a martyr anymore, I want to stop living in a world of blame and just move onto a place of peace and happiness.