Convocation.
Today we began the graduation festivities with the award ceremony that recognizes all the individual achievements of the students. I got to the auditorium early so I could spend some time in quiet reflection as I knew once family and friends started coming, I would be distracted from the serenity I absolutely had to channel today in order to not melt into a giant pile of mascara and Kleenex.
I remember the first time I sat in that aud, about 7 years old, with my sister during the fun fair. We watched Oh God with George Burns. The reels malfunctioned. Sigh. Typical of underfunded Catholic schools...
Memories flew through my head like that malfunctioning movie reel, choppy and staccato.
Much of high school I don't remember at all. It's as if it simply doesn't exist. Must be some sort of coping mechanism put in place by Mother Nature to remove some of the PTSD.
Try as I might, there are moments I can recall, but they are far and few between.
Tears rolled down with wild abandon. And I didn't even try to stop them. I knew they were making my in laws uncomfortable. Like my daughter likes to joke, "Mom, sometimes your level of emotionality and expressions of love makes people feel awkward." Lol.
Get used to it little sister. I'm done holding back.
Tomorrow is commencement.
If perhaps you think about it, maybe you all could send me some of that delicious SR warrior strength energy to hold me up at "the" moment ? It would be so very much appreciated.
I'm gonna make it after all....
XO AO