I got a letter the other day, it was from the Heath Professions Council. It was in regards to my theft of a bottle of wine in August last year. Basically they are not gonna remove me from the register and they are gonna let me do a return to practice. Couldn't believe it. Was for sure I was gonna get struck off or something. THey took note of my mitigating circumstances (depression) and the fact I wasn't praacticing at the time and deemed it ok.

I've spent the last several months sick with worry about it. Ive drank more than an elephant could cope with, litre upon litre. Just before xmas I was as near to topping myself as I had ever been. I was almost waiting for them to tell me I couldn't continue, planning my own death.

I know it's not what you are but who you are, but this is part of my identity. My peers are doing their masters and buying ******* boats in Hong Kong and Ive spent the last three years sitting in my own **** and vomit in some dank ******** in a forgotten **** corner of England. I was far more talented and capable than them too. Now I do sound like an arse, but they are bigger arses and it blows. I'm having nightmares about it and dream about it.

Yeh I sound like a right plonker now. I know there's people here that have wasted a lot more. I guess I'm struggling to look forward.

Ive just drank so much I wonder if ill get out you know? I know people have here. I'm gonna post this bullocks too this time.