My Journey - Day 1
Today is day 1 for me. I've struggled with alcohol for years, but never admitted to being an alcoholic to myself, or especially to anyone else. I know I'm an alcoholic. It took my husband saying the words out loud for me to admit it. It's embarrassing to me. That's partly why I haven't gotten the help I know I truly need to beat this lifelong disease. I can't live and continue to drink. Not only because I truly will die, but I cannot live with the shame and embarrassment. I can't live with the paranoid thoughts, anxiety, panic attacks. I never had those things before I became a hardcore alcoholic (waking up at 6 am on the weekends and the first thing pour a glass of wine). Hard liquor, too. I don't discriminate. I want sobriety so badly. For myself and my husband and our two year old beautiful daughter. I'm starting a new job, in a new state, where I can be whoever I want to be. I'm anxious about all of these changes, and they cause me to panic, but if I can stay sober, I know life will be great. Please say a prayer for me to stay strong. And let me know what's helped you in your journeys. I will be starting AA meetings once I arrive in the new state.