Hey Strat, I'm sitting in a conference session trying to listen to a boring talk and for some reason my mind keeps coming back to this thread of yours.
Here is a tip, if you wanna play, and have a break from self-flagellation
You like to dig into your mind and events that affect you now. You seem to often have clearly distinct reactions to different posts to you, or different people that post to you. And you don't seem to be afraid of analyzing and articulating your reactions in detail. Have you thought about what might be behind these targeted reactions? What are you reacting to when you respond to posts on threads like this (here, or privately)? Just food for thought.