RedDog I'm sorry for what you are going through. It sounds really tough. Maybe he's a sex addict as well as an alcoholic. It helps me to remember, and I say this as a recovering addict as well as a codependent, addiction of any kind is often about trying to ward off extremely difficult feelings as well as trying to fill a desperate emptiness. Addicts will often use anything we can, drink, drugs, sex etc to escape from ourselves. That's why his sleeping with another woman is nothing to do with you in my opinion, it says nothing about you as a woman, it's only about his disease. I t does affect you though and is obviously not the way you want to be treated. For me, I now see my addiction to the alcoholic as very similar to other addictions I have had, coming from the same place of avoidance of my own feelings and my own life, not wanting to take responsibility for my own healing and happiness and just the emptiness we all sometimes face. I have come to the conclusion that if I begin to show myself the same understanding, compassion and love that I tried to show the alcoholic I have a chance. Pia Mellody has a good book on love addiction and there is lots of interesting stuff on love addiction online if you feel that applies to you. Wishing you well. Sometimes it takes a lot of pain to make us leave.