My last drunk was completely uninteresting. It was the same night replayed for the 2000th time. Yes, I counted and drunk every night for six years is about 2000 nights. Sheesh. I drank my usual 12-14 beers and woke up the next day with the worst hangover I had EVER had. And that's saying a lot with again, around 2000 hangovers back to back. Not that the number is anything extraordinary. I know there are others with less and others with more.
The June 27th hangover was the worst day of my life. It was one of those days were simply regaining consciousness from the drunken sleep is one of the lowest forms of hell. Every part of my body hurt. Even my legs and feet were sore. I could not open my eyes because I was so tired all day but could not sleep at the same time. I was fidgety. I kept tossing and turning in bed. I've never even taken a benzo before but I kept thinking God I wish I had medication to take me out of this. Drinking was not even an option. I knew I couldn't have even gotten it across my lips nor did I want to.
During this particular hangover, my last, there is a frightening new symptom. I had shooting back pains that came about every 30 minutes which made it very painful to sit up in a chair or even in bed. I thought that I was going to die that day. Not in that fanciful way but in the way that I literally thought I was not going to live to June 28.
That was my last drunk and my last hangover. It took about 6 to 8 months to feel truly great again due to PAWS. That said though, I felt better on day two and better on day three and continually felt a little bit better each day.
I'm not sure what switched in me that day. I think it was just a very real fear of death. I've had blackout drunken episodes that would rank up there with the very worst you can think of. Even the ones where I was injured and bleeding, half undressed in public, smashing things, or even became violent, those never made me stop. It was when death was staring me in the face is when I finally did not want to drink anymore. Drinking finally became harder than not drinking.