Originally Posted by
hopeful4 
O lordy yes! It is just manipulation and denial. You have to come to a mental point that you see this as part of their issue, because it is. Once I realized that it would NEVER change, no matter who my XAH is with or anything else, I was ok. Frustrated, but ok.
They are unable to accept they cause their own problems in their lives. It is a chronic issue with alcoholics. I am not sure which comes first, the chicken or the egg. Are they manipulators before they become alcoholics ( my answer is usually yes ) or after. Either way, it does not matter, that is what they have become.
Stay upbeat and move on with your life dear girl. You deserve more. Keep your cup always half full, not half empty and keep moving forward!
...the chicken or the egg...
That sums it up because I think most might very well had issues prior to heavy drinking or drugging. I think the drinking adds to it, they couldn't handle reality prior and probably have a lesser grip of reality now. If one thinks in detail I'm pretty sure there were warning signs or behaviors years ago that makes their current status no surprise.
I guess that's why coping skills or lack there of keep popping up when talking rehab.