Spacegoat

Oh yeah, I like those questions! Is that what hypnosis or therapy is like? A bit like a (reverse) guided meditation I guess. I participated in one once.

The other lads totally rubbished it but I had an open mind, superficially at least. It took me a good 5 years to understand that yeah, that has some value.

I'm not as quick as people assume (I think). I'l have to get back to you on those! Cheered me up some. I want to reply to strategery like I was going to earlier

Cheers strat. Well I'm really bad at that kinda stuff, we had no guidance counsellor in school- actually we did but I never met with her for whatever reasons and I was up to my neck in **** at the time.

(most of it of my own doing I eventually reconciled with the aid of some self help books and my own self determination but really, for me it was quite a severe time). Now to answer your questions


Ok, no I'm not seeing anyone at the minute! I haven't had sex in 2 years, but that was 4 before so no big deal there (true though). Used to be sex mad when I was younger mind, yeah so whatever.

Now there is a good question too. I have had a wide spectrum of jobs, I been out working since I was 12 actually. I don't know really, nothing pure dodge or chaotic anyway, that is no way to live.

My best mate from school turned out to be a successful drug dealer. The biggest difference between us is that he appreciated the money more than the drugs for the most part. Mainly weed.


I have kids. Not gonna make a pity party here but I will say this. Being a single father has been nothing short of heartbreaking for me. And that is no joke. Its neither single, nor is it a father truth be told.

Said mate tried to convince me ' I had the best of both worlds' whereas nothing could be further from truth. He was just thinking well hey wouldn't it be great to be able to wake and bake for a few days.

Watching conspiracy documentaries alone without having to spin the missus to work and collect the kids in the afternoon. I'm sure he might trade his life of domestic bliss (and luxury) for a day or two.

But how long I wonder? Would anyone else here? He wouldn't trade his life for mine for an hour now, I know that much. Anyway just saying, it is what it is. My point is that was just his opinion.

He doesn't know that the carrot keeping me going in the distance all my life was the house, the car, the wife, the kids, an average existence perhaps. (he betrayed me too but thats another story)

Thats what I was working towards, it was all on course and then suddenly but slowly it didn't work out. The fault doesn't lie anywhere, it just means I have no idea what to expect from life anymore.


Sorry guys.


The last bit, where do I want to live? Well, in pragmatic terms given all I've said already I thought a long time ago that was/going to be the biggest problem facing me in life.

Anywhere at all where I could live in harmony with my own values, minding my business and practicing my music in peace. That was always the mission, and I do mean always.

Like when I was in a long term relationship, we were supposed to be getting married and she wanted a house like this and that etc so I thought my little dream might be relegated to a mancave but that was fine.

Now since I am going to be well and truly alone at best things seem so impossible to achieve. This situation here of me doing nothing and living in a tiny room is probably the most peaceful I have ever been.

Although it is at the expense of all the other things I mentioned earlier in the thread (love, peace, harmony - faith, hope, happiness) but thats what I have always found.


I can for some reason only acquire one at a time, no sooner do I try to gain another but I lose the one I have. I dunno, it's kinda weird. Ok so, just saying I suppose